Everyone experiences anxiety sometimes, and everyone knows that the emotional experience of anxiety is painful and excruciating. And everyone does everything they can to get rid of this experience.
What exactly does a person do in an attempt to get rid of anxiety?
For example, you can enlist relatives and friends to help you cope with anxiety. And they, of course, will not refuse and give advice: score, get distracted, think positively, believe in yourself, and so on. Tried? Helps?
Or a person doubts something and asks to give him confidence. Relatives, of course, will say that everything is in order with him, that he is the best and doubt in vain. Calm down? Or is one time not enough and you have to look for such comforting words again and again, and this not only does not calm you down, but can make it even worse?
And then the person can move on to another strategy: he decides not to think about what causes anxiety anymore. And the more he tries to succeed in this, the more annoyingly disturbing thoughts return. Familiar?
Maybe you need to know more about what worries? And then it will become calmer? Fortunately, the Internet is at hand and there is plenty of information in it. But what comes of it?
If a person is focused on the search for threats, then he will approach the search for information with such a biased attitude and will find information that will make him even more worried.
What else to try? It seems to be better if you relax with the help of alcohol or food. Tries. As a result? Did you manage to get rid of anxiety or new problems appeared?
Next try. In order not to worry, you need to do so in order to be completely confident in the result. It is in an unpredictable world that becomes clear in the process of seeking certainty. And naturally, this strategy leads to increased anxiety.
You can also try to think without ceasing, trying to find a flaw in reasoning, checking everything endlessly, avoiding potentially dangerous situations, refusing to see that all of the above are already symptoms of unhealthy behavior …
What is the failure of these strategies? They reinforce the person in the thought that he should NOT worry. While coping with anxiety is the opposite: if you worry often, you need to face your fears, explore them, and find a way to deal with them.