We are all anxious and afraid of something. Fear often accompanies us every day. We are plagued by various doubts. Are you familiar with the following questions?
– What if, if we make this decision, it will be wrong, and we will lose?
– And if I fail the exam or the deal goes bust?
– And if my colleagues make fun of me, will I suggest a new idea of innovation in business?
These kinds of thoughts accompany each of us. The only question is intensity and frequency. What to do?
The only logical answer that comes to my mind is this: take and do what you have planned, despite the anxiety and fear.
Interesting, but when we do something, plan, actively implement our plans, there is no place for anxiety. There is no place for fear. It’s all about concentration. We cannot focus our attention on many things at the same time. This also applies to feelings. If we are focused on the action, and it takes all our attention, then all our energy will go into action. Its not going to stay on reflection on the action. Also, there will be no energy left to reflect on all the failures that may arise on the way to the implementation of the intended. Then, when the action is done, then fear may return either about the action taken or about future accomplishments. Most likely about the future, since fear basically does not arise regarding the past.
It is still worth noting that the difference between fear and anxiety is that fear has an object, that is, we are always afraid of something. And anxiety has no object of experience. It arises as a vague feeling and can envelop the entire body and affect the general psycho-emotional state.
One of the ways to deal with anxiety is to translate anxiety into fear, that is, to find the object of fear. Then, when we know what exactly we are afraid of, we have a chance to deal with it and choose what kind of relationship we will establish with the object of fear.
Returning to active actions, I would like to add that if we decide that we can remove anxiety for good, simply by working with it and determining its causes, then most likely we are mistaken, since anxiety, especially of an existential nature, is characteristic of all people, and its cannot be destroyed. From time to time she visits even the most advanced connoisseurs of human souls. Therefore, to strive in this sense for “sterility” is to doom oneself to failure again and again. An excellent book on this subject was written by Rollo May, The Meaning of Anxiety. I recommend to everyone.
So, it is impossible to get rid of anxiety completely, it can be reduced to such a level that normal functioning in society is possible. And then it’s up to you. The ability to live with anxiety directly depends on what actions you take to do this. Not thinking about it, but doing it.
Suppose, if I am anxious to be among people (this is if the anxiety is reduced to a normal level to maintain social contacts), then I just go into society and explore what exactly worries me. I have the opportunity to see how others react to me, what feelings it causes me. I just go and do things that help me learn about myself and my behavior in a given situation. This gives me the opportunity to understand what mechanisms of organization and interruption of contact I use and which ones I should learn to manage. This possibility arises for me when I live this or that situation, and not when I fantasize about it. This is how the learning process takes place.
Of course, this is not an easy task and on the way to its implementation you will be pursued by various kinds of resistance. They will play the role of the tempting snake and scare you with scary stories. Their function is clear – they want to keep the existing system unchanged, since changes are stress, and the body resists stress. The body wants to be at a point of calm.
But, stress, in this particular case, is development. Development is always accompanied by stress, changes are always unpleasant. This is a kind of rebirth, thanks to which the caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Therefore, changes are necessary in order to grow and develop. So, make a decision: either change what does not suit you, or stay where you are now. And there, and there you will be haunted by anxiety. But in one case, the chances that she will become less, as you change and find a way to make friends with her, are many, and in the other case, none. The choice is yours.