From the author: In this article, you will learn about a self-help method for obsessive thoughts and anxiety, which has established itself as the most effective among readers of my blog.
In this article, you will learn about the self-help method for obsessive thoughts and anxiety, which has established itself as the most effective among the readers of my blog.
In my practice, I found a pattern: increased anxiety speeds up the thinking process, while the rationality of thinking decreases. If you don’t know how to deal with the disturbing thoughts that you regularly visit during periods of increased anxiety, you can complicate your situation.
For example, along with primary anxiety (due to problems in the family, at work, in communication with others, dissatisfaction with basic needs, etc.), there may be a secondary anxiety about the initial anxiety: “I should not be so worried. Anxiety is terrible. ” Or fear of disturbing thoughts: “My thoughts scare me. How can I think about this? To think such thoughts is disgusting and horrible. If I think so, I’m a bad person. “
Thoughts become intrusive for several reasons:
If a person tries to resist his thoughts, crushes them, makes an internal effort to avoid anxious thoughts;
If a person does not allow his thought to be formed into a complete phrase;
If a person carries the idea that thoughts are material.
If a person, as a result of thinking certain thoughts, ascribes to himself negative qualities: “If I think so, I am nothing, bad, terrible.”
What can you do for each item in order to get rid of obsessive thoughts?
Don’t resist anxious or obsessive thoughts. Resisting your thoughts is like resisting milk from a cow that produces this milk. Your nervous system generates thoughts based on the totality of the external and internal circumstances of your life. It is impossible to stop the process of thinking with the help of consciousness. So just allow yourself to think about anything. Do not crush thoughts, do not resist them. Let them be, and let the secondary fear of disturbing thoughts become irrelevant and stop.
After you allow yourself to think about anything, write down all your disturbing thoughts, put them into words. This will allow you to look at your fears and concerns, to engage in their analysis and exposure. Thought the thought to the end – “closed the gestalt.” If I haven’t thought of it, the brain will not ignore its unfinished thoughts.
Thoughts are not material if they are not supported by their own behavior. Do something – there is a possibility that the thought can come true. You just think – do not wait for the fulfillment of the thought, it will not come true. Hence the logical conclusion: you can think about anything, and about something terrible, terrible, shameful or ugly without any consequences.
If your brain thought about something terrible, and your consciousness noted this fact, how does this prove that you are a bad person? No way! Whatever you think, it doesn’t make you worse or better. And if you take into account the fact that in an anxious state the brain is more active and generates more thoughts, then it becomes clearer how to relate to your thoughts: “I have a lot of anxious thoughts due to increased anxiety, but this does not mean that I am bad. I, of course, have advantages and disadvantages, so I cannot be completely bad in principle. It is safe to think bad thoughts, and to control anxious thoughts is useless, so I just let them be. “
As a result of this work on yourself, you can remove secondary fears about obsessive thoughts and states. Practice shows: allowing yourself to think about everything reduces anxiety and helps to stop obsession.
The anxiety of a real man
Articles / Emotions in Life
“A real man must be persistent and courageous,” my mother instilled from childhood. “Don’t cry, don’t get angry, don’t swear, don’t be afraid, don’t worry, don’t worry.” Usually it was said in such a hysterical tone that it only became even more frightening. How is it not to worry? How does it feel to be calm?