Anxiety, character and crises



1. Anxiety, excitement (usually in anticipation of danger or something unknown).

“Embraced t. Be in alarm”

2. Signal of an impending danger, as well as the state of such a danger.

“Air t.”

Anxiety character and crises

Independently, anxiety arises when it is not clear how the situation will develop, and it is characteristic of expecting a result that is little or completely independent of the person. The state, like on a razor’s edge, where it will swing, is unknown. Anxiety, excitement, anxiety is the simplest level of emotions, undifferentiated, and can be delayed until the situation turns in one direction. Then anxiety will develop into a more specific experience – fear, joy, shame, or something else.

But even where the situation is certain, we all at first, for a moment, feel anxiety, as a synonym for excitement, anxiety. And almost immediately we distinguish something specific from it – anger at the offender or violator of our rights, the joy of victory, the sadness of parting, tenderness for a loved one, etc.

There are people who do not go beyond the level of anxiety in awareness of what is happening to them.

Anxiety as a part of character is not a true emotion, but a manner of covering up real experiences from oneself. It’s like burying your head in the sand, trying not to face life’s difficulties and not solving problems with action or clarifying relationships.

Most likely, an overly anxious person simply does not know how to do it differently. Not taught, or unlearned somewhere earlier in his history, to notice what usually stems from anxiety and excitement. It was impossible, for example, to be angry, to take offense at loved ones. Together with suppressed negative emotions, the child could have lost, or not acquired at all, due to the lack of an adequate parental mirror of his emotions, the ability to distinguish the nuances of his experiences. Thus, separation from the mother, even for a short time in early childhood, can significantly hinder the formation of trust in the world. Or the change of a cloudless childhood with its sweet for some mothers complete dependence on the desire for independence that does not change during growing up may result in the mother’s rejection and the child’s loss of paradise of unconditional acceptance and love.

Conditions arise for love. Being in a certain way good, as is the case with narcissists, is a relatively clear situation. To be unacceptable from the very beginning, as is the case with schizoids, is terrible, but also quite certain. But to be accepted, which means quite good, and then abandoned, rejected by the closest person from the point of view of a small child “it is not clear why and for what” is just an imitation and fixation of the situation “on the razor’s edge”. Maybe that’s why depression is so often accompanied by anxiety. A depressed character always strives to return to lost love, and for this one must become good for others. But there is no universal definition of goodness, and the result is unpredictable. In the endless efforts to take care of others, there is always anxiety – am I the right one to be given back care and love? The emerging despair of the impossibility of being infinitely loved by the right of one’s existence and returning “to the handle” can extinguish anxiety and create certainty in the form of counterdependent behavior with the rejection of such an unreliable approximation. 

And yet we all always, continuously, feel anxiety, because we are mortal and we know it. This is existential anxiety. Usually it is not noticed, and worries only in crises, when a person stops, ceases to be distracted by vanity from his essence, and in this respite begins to hear himself deeply.

It can also become a character. You can listen to yourself constantly, and live not in reality, because reality can actually be much less bearable than the fear of dying and hypochondriacal anxiety. Although, in my opinion, almost more often, hypochondriac anxiety is a kind of getting stuck in the development of personality, a refusal to accept the natural course of events: the transition of growing up to aging and one’s own vulnerability and mortality. And this, in turn, may indicate identity problems. In therapy, this involves returning the client to critical moments in his development and working to form a holistic and relatively realistic self-image. 

event_note October 27, 2021

account_box Winona Tse MD

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