I wind myself up so that even my husband is scared. Anxiety, panic, fear of betrayal

A girl, let’s call her Sveta, turned to me and told the following story:

“I’m scared … I’m scared that my husband will betray me … The slightest misunderstanding in the conversation, and I instantly wind myself up to such an extent that I’m ready to cry … As if I had already lost him irrevocably. As if there was such a betrayal that nothing can be fixed. It is especially scary to receive a message in the correspondence (my ex-boyfriend ended our relationship with him without any explanation, he just sent a text message). At the moment of an attack I am ready to fall and cry, I gasp for breath, I do not have enough air … I do not look like myself. And I just frighten my husband and children with these states of mine. Help me find the reason … “

We agreed to look at the causes of the problematic situation in the constellation.

In the first image of the constellation, there is a childhood trauma. Sveta was admitted to the hospital alone with hepatitis (jaundice). She was about 3 years old. For some reason, the treatment was delayed, and the parents were not allowed to see her. The procedures in the infectious diseases ward were strict. Here from

The solution was to talk with the child’s part of the personality. They played, hugged, calmed, comforted, relaxed … The children’s part reacted vividly to hugs and touches and finally fell asleep in Sveta’s arms.  

In the second image of the constellation, there is a clear connection at the level of repetition of feelings and the scenario of the paternal grandmother, who during the won years received a funeral for her husband, who died near Kharkov in 1943. This is where the fear of getting a negative letter comes from. This is where the fits of sobbing came from … These are grandmother’s feelings that she could not fully respond at that time and which passed to the granddaughter like a relay baton. The solution was simple. Sveta spoke with her grandmother respectfully and returned to her the very feelings of grief and fear.

In the third image of the constellation – a tragic story by the kind of mother. There, during the years of occupation, several underground fighters were seized and executed by the Nazis, one of whom turned out to be a relative of Sveta. This is where attacks of suffocation and shortness of breath come from. This is where the “fear of betrayal” comes from. The decision was to give fate, feelings and experiences to all those executed and that cruel wartime. 

In the fourth image of the alignment, Sveta spoke with her ex-boyfriend and told them literally the following: “Thank you for telling me the root cause of the situation. I fixed everything. From today on I will live well, calmer and more confident. I will live my own life. She took Sveta from her ex-boyfriend all her emotional investments. “

event_note November 26, 2021

account_box Winona Tse MD

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